well, fsck

[chelidon]

So Wednesday I call one of my dearest friends and deep spiritual mentors, and we talk about the increasingly direct relationship between my internal and external landscapes, about symbols and meanings and how more and more, internal symbols, conflicts and processes are not a metaphor, they manifest directly and forcefully in the world of form. As a part of this discussion, I agree that I need to make more space in my life, that my constant busyness is part of what's holding me back from fully engaging with some of my hard personal work, and my movement through into the next stage of what I need to be doing. Last night my extended household gathered to celebrate Mabon/Fall Equinox, and we ceremonially switched over from the light to the dark half of the year (more night than day, etc). The period of time between now and Samhain is when I typically concentrate on what I need to let go of, on pruning and simplifying my life, plowing under that which is no longer needed, and making space for new things to happen.

Today I find out that the major recurring freelance writing gig that currently provides 2/3 of my typical monthly income and which takes up the majority of my time is going away in a week (through no fault of my own). Okay, so I suddenly have a lot more time and space in my life. Dammit.

Sometimes this path drives me nuts. But you just have to laugh.

Comments

[christeos-pir.livejournal.com]

=:-0

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

yeah, it was a big surprise, no warning, but that's how the freelance writing world often is. This last year and a half has actually been very stable, all things considered, and the particular long-term project that just suddenly went away had morphed in a major way three times in that 18-month period. And it's okay, too -- we can get by without it for a good while, and I'll suddenly have plenty of time to do many of the backlogged house projects in my pre-Winter queue -- it's actually kind of a neat situation, since the regular work that's left is some of my best stuff on an hourly basis, so for a while at least I can get by only working one day a week. I'll just have to reschedule some of the more expensive or optional house projects (no heated cab on the tractor this winter, gonna freeze my cajones again when I plow...), cut expenses back a bit until the freelance queue fills up again, etc.

Just goes to show, ya gotta be verrrry careful what ya ask for ;>

[draiguisge.livejournal.com]

Well, if that isn't a big old clue-stick, I dunno what is ... hope you can find a way to deal with the loss of income, though! *hug*

(p.s. when I got to see my aunt and uncle a couple of weeks ago, the ones who run the CSA up in MA, I mentioned you and they said they teach workshops on various farming and self-sufficiency subjects that sounded right up your alley, I need to put you in touch with them I think)

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

(see above)

Thanks, yep, big ol' clue brick, and it should be fine -- some rebudgeting and reshuffling of things for a little while, and now I can spend pretty much 6 days/week with family and working on the house and land full-time, which will let me knock down a lot of the accumulating house and land projects before Winter. Shoot, I've got quite a laundry list -- install composting toilet, install wood furnace, fix up the roads a bit, chop several more cords of wood, bring down down deadfall trees to use as timbers next season, put the woodshop back together, finishing work on the new floors, build a kitchen island, install new glass sink in 1/2 bath, etc, etc. I'm pretty good at living lean, and most of the big near-term house expenses (wood furnace, house addition, composting toilet system, etc) are done or at least purchased and on their way, so we should be set for a while. C'est la vie, and I'm sure it'll turn out to be the best possible outcome. Heck, I might even have time for *my* writing, as well as throwing myself into the theatre production I'm in, and just having more time to breathe and be with those I love.

And thanks for the info about your aunt and uncle -- sounds great!