ah-yup

[chelidon]

Ganked from eedge

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Can you smell the sarcasm? Please post this in your journal if you are for gay marriage.

Comments

[mystfemme.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the grins! Will repost.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

:) Anytime, m'dear.

[christeos-pir.livejournal.com]

I still can't figure out why we need marriage as a legal instrument at all. I should be able to designate anyone at all as my heir, or my beneficiary, or my power of attorney.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Exactilutely. But there's unfortunately a great deal of civil and tax law that rests on that particular institution, for historical reasons.

[kitten-goddess.livejournal.com]

I got married for spiritual reasons, not legal ones. When you're at a ritual and Venus tells you, "It's time. What are you waiting for?" you've gotten a sign.

Yes, I'm an unabashed hardcore theist. I do believe Gods can speak to people. However, if some God said to kill all the Christians/Pagans/whatevers, I'd do a banishing ritual pretty damn quick and tell it to leave me alone!

[christeos-pir.livejournal.com]

But you don't need a legal instrument to do that. You can have a marriage, a handfasting, even a full-blown wedding, as a spiritual or a celebratory rite, without the government getting involved.

[kitten-goddess.livejournal.com]

Oh. I thought "handfasting" was the term used for anything that did not get the government invovled, and "marriage" had to involve the government.

Thanks for the heads-up!

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Well, there's "marriage," and then there's "legal marriage" (including "common law marriage"). You can get "married" in a church, and the church may recognize that marriage (including gay marriage, etc), but then if you want the government to recognize it, you have to go file paperwork with the State. And most states do not recognize gay marriage. Heck, some states don't recognize the marriage as legal if it wasn't conducted by an "approved" minister/priest of a "recognized" church (or by a designated government official, such as a judge, justice of the peace, etc) -- no pagans need apply. And it's that official state certificate that you need in order to be recognized as "married" by the IRS, insurance companies, and so on. That's the part that government should step away from, but d'ya think it'll happen? Maybe someday, not soon tho'...

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Ah-yup. My truth is that gods do exist, and it is also within our calling, as beings of free will, to tell them "no."

[kitten-goddess.livejournal.com]

This thing is all over the Net! Hopefully, someone else besides the choir will see this!