Vive l'amour!

[chelidon]

I was reading a LJ entry this morning that got me thinking about the sometimes enormous challenges of engaging with life-force/love and how unsafe it can be to be open to the wild, to the infinity of possibilities, to be a Fool for love/life. And that reminded me of something I wrote a number of years ago. It was in the context of an online conversation about the Cathars, AMOR vs ROMA and the Albigensian Crusade, the conflict between what the entrenched structures of society will tell you is love (for their own self-interested reasons), and what is really, truly love. I was also at the same time dealing with some really petty, vicious, small-minded people in my life, whose lives seemed so very, very small and constrained. There is always a choice, and that's what I was trying to get at here. The last paragraph, especially, is something of a manifesto for me, and when I think of it I trot it out every so often to remind myself of the choices I face. This is holy, sacred work, and it can be so very hard. But diving fully into that work is the best path to fully inhabiting, experiencing, and reveling in life, love and joy, beauty balance and delight.

--Chelidon

-------
There's a stance of bitterness and inward-shrinking, of exclusion, clinging isolation, binding, loneliness, turning away, closing down, cutting off, disconnecting, and turning off. There's a path of ecstasy, expansion, inclusion, joy, freedom, camaraderie, turning to face, opening up, adding on, connecting, and turning on.

Being snide, smarmy, bitter, vicious, cold, indifferent, sarcastic, caustic, cynical, pompous, self-righteous or petty, has a way of shriveling the soul when turned into a regular habit. As does spending a lot of your time around other people who choose to live that way. And a wrinkled, shriveled soul rattling around in an otherwise healthy body is not a pretty sight. When you lose your sense of humor, you've lost the world, because there's plenty enough nasty crap existing to suck dry the joy from anyone without it. And, indeed, those whose own wellspring of joy has run dry will frequently attempt to suck it from others around them...this explains much of society--joyless people grasping at anything or anybody external which seems like it might be a substitute. Beware the difference between healthy self-skepticism and the contagious disease of poisonous, cynical bitterness. Pettiness is a sure sign of the latter. But it is easily banished with laughter.

I seek immersion in the ecstasy, the ocean of amor--the wild, uncontrollable, unstoppable love that burns away all weaselly smarminess, all self-righteous pompousity, all half-hearted platitudes, sticky sentimentality, persistent self-imposed limitations, insidious illusions of isolation and self-perpetuating auto-apocalyptic memes. I seek the preciously impractical tickling spark that lets you giggle with abandon at other's silly pettiness, shrug without bitterness at tightly-held delusions, and laugh at oneself without limit. Everyone's gotta choose their own truths. But some clearly lead to heaven on earth, and others wind their sure way to personal hells of disillusionment and bitterness. Choose ye well.

Comments

[thefirespiral.livejournal.com]

What a great entry... excellent food for thought. Thanks for sharing!

~RavenFire

[draiguisge.livejournal.com]

I love it when you speak the truth. :)

[morrigandaughtr.livejournal.com]

A toast to you and these joyful, expansive, connective thoughts.

This is my dream, too; this is my life.

Unsafe? Easy to point back to Victor's "anything worthwhile is dangerous - most dangerous to the parts of ourselves that shrink instead of blossom. How much more joyful to be a bloom that knows the caress of the sun.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Glad it resonated for all of you, and thanks for the feedback! Morrigandaughtr, thanks for reminding me of Victor's words there-- exactly. Unsafe, for sure, dangerous, life-changing, transformational. Wild. And hard, very hard at times. Blissful, agonizing, ecstatic, soul-searing and life-forging by turns. But yes, also my dream and my life. The more open you are, the more open you can be, and the more of life you can live.

[soulspirals.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this!

[kaigou.livejournal.com]

I'm finding the more egalitarian I become (at least in public, as opposed to once where I was perpetually 'no comment' for various reasons)...the more there appears to be a sign over my head that says "all small-minded, insecure twits, AIM HERE." It's rather annoying, actually, but only in short bursts and then I remember I can still write circles around them.

I have achieved fandom_wank three times so far, and fandom_hate twice. I came to realization that if I must be an Evil Overlord, then I would be an Evil Overlord With Style. My minions, however, have yet to show up and paint my house. Damn it. I wanna be an Evil Overlord With Style Who Can Afford To Pay Minion Union Wages.

Being snide, smarmy, bitter, vicious, cold, indifferent, sarcastic, caustic, cynical, pompous, self-righteous or petty, has a way of shriveling the soul when turned into a regular habit.

But the corollary to that is that sometimes, one must be indifferent (if without the malicious connotations of the rest of the list) to those who are any and/or all of the above. I suppose that's my version of turning the other cheek?

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

I came to realization that if I must be an Evil Overlord, then I would be an Evil Overlord With Style. My minions, however, have yet to show up and paint my house. Damn it. I wanna be an Evil Overlord With Style Who Can Afford To Pay Minion Union Wages.

Heh. Yep. Acolytes...one of the best reasons for founding A Hierarchical Tradition that has ever been invented. Occasionally makes me wish I'd not so quickly flitted off to a resolutely egalitarian practice. *sigh*

To wit:

1st degree: wash, wax, clean, cook, scrub, polish, paint, grind, peel, mash, etc etc. Wax on, wax off, lather, rinse, repeat. Until one day, said exhauted, grubby student stands up with a look of stunned realization on hir dirt-smeared face, huffs off to Evil Tradition Overlord, exclaims indignantly, "this is BULLSHIT!" to Evil Tradition Overlord who responds by....nodding sagely and promptly promoting them to 2nd degree.

Oh, sh*t, did I just say that? Whoops, just knocked a whole flock of worthwhile scams, er, traditions right down the tubes. Sorry. Any Indignant Evil Tradition Overlords, please send the rancid yak pies and bad juju to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C..... ;>

But the corollary to that is that sometimes, one must be indifferent (if without the malicious connotations of the rest of the list) to those who are any and/or all of the above. I suppose that's my version of turning the other cheek?

Well, by "indifferent" there I was really thinking more along the lines of "uncaring" or "apathetic," as in the observation of Rollo May (and many others) that, "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy." Indifferent to passion, indifferent to love, indifferent to life, just dead inside. You've got a good point, though, that as long as someone can't actually harm you, the best way to turn the other cheek often is to have them just Not Matter. To the extent that they matter, in either a positive or negative manner, you in some sense feed them and their energetic systems. However, if they can harm you and have the will to do so, turning the other cheek is a good way to get both cheeks whacked, sez I ;>

[kaigou.livejournal.com]

However, if they can harm you and have the will to do so, turning the other cheek is a good way to get both cheeks whacked, sez I.

Speak softly...and carry a lot of explosives. ;D