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a link, a meme and two songs
Jun. 8th, 2005 01:38 amThis is a link to a great article a friend posted recently on her LJ, about the key factors that make for successful long-term partnerships.
An excerpt:
Do they touch and do they laugh? This is the single most important question I ask about people in love who want to get married. They are all I look for now.
Brides and grooms who do not touch each other, hold hands, sneak a kiss, touch the other’s cheek or brush away a stray lock of hair, but instead sit apart as if they were riding on a bus alone, they have no chance. Of course I cannot know this for sure, but I am sure nevertheless. They may stay married for 60 years but they have no chance of ever having even a single day of true passion and true love. I am not looking for physical lust. What I am looking for is the sheer joy of touching the one you love. You can learn this lesson in death as well. We bury our loved one in the ground and put a marker stone on top of the grave so that we can touch the stone that touches the earth that touches the one we love. Touching is the way love begins and it is the way we try to keep it from ending even in the face of death. Once, at a funeral I was told by a couple’s children that they used to walk in on their mom and dad slow dancing together in the living room. I was entranced by that image because I know that in dancing with the one you love, it is never the music that matters, it is always the touching.
Do we touch and do we laugh? That is how I know whether I and the relationships I am in are healthy. Is there fun, is there play, do I, do we laugh and touch? Yes, we do, because we want to. And, as it turns out, we do because play and laughter is not optional in a sustainable, passionate long-term relationship. If the play isn't there, I know something is seriously wrong.
( Read more... )
An excerpt:
Do they touch and do they laugh? This is the single most important question I ask about people in love who want to get married. They are all I look for now.
Brides and grooms who do not touch each other, hold hands, sneak a kiss, touch the other’s cheek or brush away a stray lock of hair, but instead sit apart as if they were riding on a bus alone, they have no chance. Of course I cannot know this for sure, but I am sure nevertheless. They may stay married for 60 years but they have no chance of ever having even a single day of true passion and true love. I am not looking for physical lust. What I am looking for is the sheer joy of touching the one you love. You can learn this lesson in death as well. We bury our loved one in the ground and put a marker stone on top of the grave so that we can touch the stone that touches the earth that touches the one we love. Touching is the way love begins and it is the way we try to keep it from ending even in the face of death. Once, at a funeral I was told by a couple’s children that they used to walk in on their mom and dad slow dancing together in the living room. I was entranced by that image because I know that in dancing with the one you love, it is never the music that matters, it is always the touching.
Do we touch and do we laugh? That is how I know whether I and the relationships I am in are healthy. Is there fun, is there play, do I, do we laugh and touch? Yes, we do, because we want to. And, as it turns out, we do because play and laughter is not optional in a sustainable, passionate long-term relationship. If the play isn't there, I know something is seriously wrong.
( Read more... )
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