loving ourselves in all our parts

[chelidon]

Part of some musings I had in response to a recent very thought-provoking, insightful, inspirational and practical posting by yezida:

Extreme Dualism is not our friend. Everything is either good OR bad, angelic OR demonic, sacred spirit OR fallen flesh, everyone is urged to find the One True Way, the One True Faith, the One True Diet, to love the unattainable that is without and hate what is within, to yearn for the mythic past or the time to come and despise the here and now. Whether the Rapture or Second Coming or Ascention or Grand World Transformation, we're always told it's about some other world than this one, some other form than our own mortal human flesh, to which we should aspire and for which we should hope and work.

No. For me, it's about right here and right now, and this body, and it's all as holy as it can be, each and every bit of it, every single one of us. It's not about choosing one of the poles, one of the extremes and aspiring to sit there forever, it's about learning to find that point of personal balance-in-motion that feels right, and is right, for oneself, at this moment in time. Ken Wilber talks about transcendence as being not about leaving something behind, not as losing or discarding something, but as wrapping that thing up and raising it up to its highest form. Almost like an act of worship, in fact... ;> I truly transcend my physical form by experiencing joy in that part of me, by worshipping it, not by denying it. And even as I say that, I see dualism in how I express myself. My body is *not* an "it," a mere shell or a vessel. Just as holy as any of my parts, "it" is me, and I am it.

I do deeply believe that we humans are totally capable of working out these shades of grey, of grappling with ambiguity, diversity, of making our own good choices. I do deeply believe that we can, and we will, if we can break out of the world of one-size-fits-all easy answers (available from your local Authority Figure or Spiritual Guru on an easy payment plan!), and if we can learn and try to genuinely love ourselves in all our parts, even (especially) our physical parts.

The strongest demons are always those which have been strengthened by denial, repression and neglect. Neopuritanism feeds binge drinking and unhealthy sex lives, seeing our bodies as somehow impure or unholy feeds a whole range of self-abusive and self-neglectful practices, but people who can learn to honor and love their bodies can avoid the extremes and find their own healthy place of balance.

Comments

[blue-sky-48220.livejournal.com]

The strongest demons are always those which have been strengthened by denial, repression and neglect.

I agree.

Demons, like the monsters of childhood, live in dark places. We avoid them--we don't look under the bed, or in the closet when it's dark; we run up the basement stairs instead of turning around to face the blackness. We feel safe when we are available to avoid the dark places, but we pay for that security with fear.

But when we face the dark, the strength of our observation alone weakens the demons. Sometimes we are able to fight them off. Sometimes other people help us fight them off. And sometimes, they just get scared and go somewhere else on their own (Good demons never die, really; they just move to a more suitable host).

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Good demons never die, really; they just move to a more suitable host

Oh, that's a good one...lol.

And yes, what you said, well put! The persistent accumulation of unexamined demons is one reason we need Tricksters and Fools (and mirrors ;>)

And...sometimes, it seems to me, having turned to face and examine our demons, we can accept them as part of ourselves, no bigger than they really are, integrate them instead of shunning them or hiding from them, and perhaps be all the stronger for it.

[moonmelody.livejournal.com]

Excellently said! An especially hearty "Amen!" to this: My body is *not* an "it," a mere shell or a vessel. Just as holy as any of my parts, "it" is me, and I am it. May we all learn to love ourselves, in all our parts!

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

May it be so. Whew! Hard work. But worth it, I believe.

[kitten-goddess.livejournal.com]

We also must honor our souls. There are people out there, myself included, who strive constantly to achieve the Perfectly Enlightened, Alwasy Mature, Self-Reliant Personality (TM), and condemn themselves viciously for "falling short." I am learning that there is no one personality, despite what religions of all stripes teach, that is more "evolved" or "better" than another.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

mmm, yes. All of our parts are holy. Which, of course, doesn't mean that we're perfect, or infallible, just that all of those imperfect, fallible bits of us are holy, sacred, and worthy of respect.

[veedub.livejournal.com]

during my recent trip to bali, the thing that impressed me most was the balinese concept of balance between good and evil. their barong dance expresses it so well: the barong, a good guardian spirit, battles the evil rangda, who is actually an aspect of the goddess durga. durga gets purified and goes to heaven, and her assistant, kalika, wants to be purified as well. but the gods tell her that, no, someone has to do her job of being evil, because it's necessary that there be evil in the world.

nobody ever wins the battle of good vs. evil in any permanent sense. balance is all. demons are just as necessary as angels. we make offerings to the low spirits as well as the high. and we live in the grey area between the black and the white.

that was extremely comforting to me.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

yes, yes, and thank you for sharing that great story. Everything contains its opposite, and dualistic mindsets always seem to forget this. Attempting to banish evil absolutely can, under a Christian mindset, do away with God entirely (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil) ;>

The whole world, it seems to me, is a grey area -- the brighter the light, the deeper the shadows.

Thus the motto on my pictures site (http://www.mythosphere.com): Lux et umbra vicissim, sed semper amor.

[veedub.livejournal.com]

yep. another wonderful thing the balinese do is wrap their statues, house support poles, and anything else they can think of in this special cloth called poleng
which is black, white, and grey checked. it symbolizes the existence of both good and evil and the grey area in between which is where we live.

the only shrines they deck with poleng are shrines to durga, the goddess of death. see the pic at http://www.wiggage.com/shrine/balishrines/137tampaksiring.durgasmall.jpg
which i took at the temple of durga in tampaksiring--that pic is of a little shrine to durga the nursing mother outside the main temple. most of my temple pix are at http://www.wiggage.com/witch/balishrines.html if you're interested.

and the singers iin the kecak dance wear poleng cloth as well. (there's a good illo at http://www.tompgalvin.com/features/kecak.htm )

[snakey.livejournal.com]

"Just as holy as any of my parts, "it" is me, and I am it."

I struggle so much with reconciling this belief with the deep-seated sense that my body (being female), *isn't* me. :S

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Yep. I hear that. I figure we all have parts of "me" that "I" don't want or like. For me, acknowledging that my physical form is me, is also a part of recognizing that at the same time I am not by any means wholly defined by that form. My physical form is part of me, and a sacred holy part, but I am more than my flesh, and the current form of my flesh. I can love, honor and respect that part of me while still desiring to change, transform and mold it, just as I can love and honor the earth while still being able to change it -- by building things, digging holes and planting trees, by creating art, by eating and shitting and breathing. If I can't change what is holy and sacred and everything is holy, sacred and divine, than I'm pretty screwed ;>

Declaring the self holy doesn't mean you can't change, even in substantial ways. And it sure doesn't mean I have to like everything about myself as I am. For me, it just means acknowledging and honoring the sacredness of my form, as well as the sacredness of my desires, including my desires to change that form in ways that seem right to me. Those desires are just as much a part of me as part of me that is my current physical form here and now.