as within...
Apr. 13th, 2006 05:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chelidonThe last couple of days, I've been feeling rather out of sorts -- cranky, emotional, irritable, achy, sore back and muscles, and physically hypersensitive to touch, like having some kind of odd allergic reaction. Two nights ago I was outside looking up and noting the exquisite beauty of the almost-full moon, and I had just a minute previous made a comment to my Lovely Housemate ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lylythe_strega about feeling like it was my time of the month...and it hit me. Exactly one moon ago, my partner and I had just come back from the hospital, where after much injections of various hormones and other prep work, we'd done the ova aspration and fertilization part of an in-vitro process, in the hopes of freezing some fertilized ova for the future. For unknown reasons, it didn't work, so we had to let go of the probable hope of having another child between us. Hard, very hard. Two weeks later, on new moon, my partner underwent an operation to have her cancerous thyroid removed, and got the results that it had spread to some of the nearby lymph nodes -- not unexpected, but still disappointing. So yeah...it's been one hell of a moon. Perhaps I can forgive myself a bit for being sore, for not feeling normal.
So one thing I resolved was to be better to myself physically -- specifically, to get more sleep, drink more water and most of all, take more walks on the land, particularly now that the weather is so delightful (69 degrees today), while still getting down below freezing at night often enough to keep us mostly bug-free. We're in another quiet period -- my partner is recovering extraordinarily well, both outside and in, and we've got some weeks before the next part of the process. So I've wandered the land, visiting all of my favorite sacred spots, rebuilding woodland altars, checking out how the spring melt has affected the stream bed, checking out trees, finding interesting things here and there (including moose droppings, wild boar tracks, and a small embroidered coin purse with some money in it, no doubt left over from the last Feri weekend -- Canadian money, which narrows it down a bit in finding the owner), climbing up to the top of hills, lying on mossy rocks, and dozing a bit under the warm springtime sun.
Funny how much can change in a short period of time. It's hard to believe it looked like this and this only a week ago (though that was a late, small snow that was completely gone two days later). And the cats have found their springtime warm places in the sun.
And after looking like this for a couple of weeks (did I mention it's been a hell of a moon), I finished installing, trimming and staining the double French doors leading to the new house addition, and I'm pretty pleased with how what I picked came out looking once I had it finished-- fits with the house, simple in line, but not boring, and it lets in a lot of light. The beveled glass in the center light (pane) is a nice subtle touch, I think. Pics are here, here, and here, with a close-up of one of the door plaques I found ("Night" and "Day," time goddesses, natch), here. Next up, my partner and I are planning to paint the primer coat on the blueboard tonight, staying in for our night out this time around. Getting sloppy and messy together is almost always a good thing ;>
Thinking back on a recent post frommystfemme, I'm contemplating how much better I feel when I'm physically working hard, a bit sore, pushing myself. As without, so within, and vice versa. Ah-yup.
lylythe_strega about feeling like it was my time of the month...and it hit me. Exactly one moon ago, my partner and I had just come back from the hospital, where after much injections of various hormones and other prep work, we'd done the ova aspration and fertilization part of an in-vitro process, in the hopes of freezing some fertilized ova for the future. For unknown reasons, it didn't work, so we had to let go of the probable hope of having another child between us. Hard, very hard. Two weeks later, on new moon, my partner underwent an operation to have her cancerous thyroid removed, and got the results that it had spread to some of the nearby lymph nodes -- not unexpected, but still disappointing. So yeah...it's been one hell of a moon. Perhaps I can forgive myself a bit for being sore, for not feeling normal.So one thing I resolved was to be better to myself physically -- specifically, to get more sleep, drink more water and most of all, take more walks on the land, particularly now that the weather is so delightful (69 degrees today), while still getting down below freezing at night often enough to keep us mostly bug-free. We're in another quiet period -- my partner is recovering extraordinarily well, both outside and in, and we've got some weeks before the next part of the process. So I've wandered the land, visiting all of my favorite sacred spots, rebuilding woodland altars, checking out how the spring melt has affected the stream bed, checking out trees, finding interesting things here and there (including moose droppings, wild boar tracks, and a small embroidered coin purse with some money in it, no doubt left over from the last Feri weekend -- Canadian money, which narrows it down a bit in finding the owner), climbing up to the top of hills, lying on mossy rocks, and dozing a bit under the warm springtime sun.
Funny how much can change in a short period of time. It's hard to believe it looked like this and this only a week ago (though that was a late, small snow that was completely gone two days later). And the cats have found their springtime warm places in the sun.
And after looking like this for a couple of weeks (did I mention it's been a hell of a moon), I finished installing, trimming and staining the double French doors leading to the new house addition, and I'm pretty pleased with how what I picked came out looking once I had it finished-- fits with the house, simple in line, but not boring, and it lets in a lot of light. The beveled glass in the center light (pane) is a nice subtle touch, I think. Pics are here, here, and here, with a close-up of one of the door plaques I found ("Night" and "Day," time goddesses, natch), here. Next up, my partner and I are planning to paint the primer coat on the blueboard tonight, staying in for our night out this time around. Getting sloppy and messy together is almost always a good thing ;>
Thinking back on a recent post from
mystfemme, I'm contemplating how much better I feel when I'm physically working hard, a bit sore, pushing myself. As without, so within, and vice versa. Ah-yup.
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no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 01:56 am (UTC)May you follow the cats' example and find your own place in the sun too.
love,
K
no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 08:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 02:42 pm (UTC)Also, nice doors. :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 02:13 pm (UTC)And yeah, I'm trying to give myself space to need space...count is as curmudgeon practice (what I want to be when I grow up ;>)
no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 03:10 pm (UTC)You do have a gorgeous house and outside!
Just for you - Easter Turducken
Date: 2006-04-14 11:06 pm (UTC)Re: Just for you - Easter Turducken
Date: 2006-04-18 02:18 pm (UTC)