epiphaphemeras
Jan. 17th, 2006 02:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chelidon...or would trivial epiphanies (ephemera + epiphanies) be ephemeries? Epiphotrivia? Trivaries?
Anyway...
Earlier this evening, I'd just gotten done putting the chains on the tractor and plowing the road, the turnarounds, the paddock and the barn, pulling the car of one of my Lovely Housemates up from where it had gotten a bit stuck behind the house, jump-starting and recharging the battery of my partner's car, repairing one of the garage doors, and other similar stuff that made me feel mighty useful -- sore, and tired, but in general, a good tired. I put the tractor back in the barn, turned off the lights, stepped outside into the paddock, and... was almost blinded by the beauty of the just-past full-moon shining on the snow, and a heavens full of what my son would rightly describe as a gazillion stars. They'd been patiently waiting for me to finish my work and notice them. Or, not, they'd sure be there, whether I noticed them or not. Yet, a precious blessing, the constellations slowly spun above, leapt out at me, vigorously reenacting their endless celestial tales just as if I was an ancient Greek shepherd gazing skyward.
I gaped awhile in breathless wonder, soaking in what I could of the eternal cosmic dance going on above me, and it was a perfect moment. Really, truly perfect, a pure shimmering space of bliss. I was reminded that perfection, like balance, is a condition, not a state -- it's dynamic, always moving, not some static thing to be achieved once and then you're done. Tonight, it came, it went, and it left behind gratitude, wonder, and a few lingering thoughts.
The call to do the Work is a call to do the Work, not a call to do work so that you can say you're doing the work and be too busy to do the Work.
Oh.
For six or seven years now, I've been increasingly hearing the call to go back to the land of some of my ancestors, a land that deeply calls me in song and story, music and myth, blood and bone. The last time I went, a spiritual mentor told me that my ancestors there had something to tell me, something important. And...I'm not sure I was listening, it was a short, busy trip, I was caught up in other things, distracted. So I wonder if this time I'll be listening, if I'll be truly ready to hear what they have to say, if I'll answer the call, and understand it if I do. There are no second chances, no repetitions -- each moment is unique, passes and is gone. But some stories can be retold, perhaps with different settings, different characters, different choices, even different endings, but be still the true Tale, the real myth, those stories that lie hidden, powerful, entwining, passing under and through all of the other lesser stories, and bring them to life.
I note that "replay" means to do something over, but it also means to play again. I'm thinking about replaying -- to let myself truly deeply, freely play again. As Pan teaches, play may well be wisdom enough for anyone.
It seems to me that it's often only when you've given up any hope or expectation that there are any Answers, that you find them. I mean, sure, there are answers, here and there, some trivial, some profound, but there are no Answers. Even the concept seems absurd. But hmm, yes, there are, and they tend to swim out in the corners of your vision, fleeting and ephemeral, darting in, slipping away, then steal in wanton and shameless only when you're not looking. Here's one:
If you enter into a game knowing that you can't win, you have a real freedom. You can relax into it. You can enjoy what happens, as it happens, instead of focusing on some supposed goal state. Since the outcome isn't in doubt, if you're wise, you don't have to pay so much attention to learning the rules, or playing by them. You can do as you like, play-fully enjoy the moments of interaction with others, you can find other things to focus on, you can simply enjoy the play itself.
That's what life is. You're not going to win, so enjoy the frickin' game already, hmm? All you have to do to be happier is let go of the need to win, let go of that pernicious and illogical illusion that you can somehow, if you work hard enough or are smart enough, or are good enough, or make the right choices or lay the best plans.
It doesn't work that way. I, you, every one of us, and our children and their children, are born, live, and are going to die, and when we do, whatever we have done and accumulated here will not be coming with us. When the game is over, all of the pieces and prizes we've accumulated stay on the board. Let go of the need to win, take a deep breath, let it go, and be free to enjoy the game! As the eternal Bard wrote, the play's the thing. So let's play!
Anyway...
Earlier this evening, I'd just gotten done putting the chains on the tractor and plowing the road, the turnarounds, the paddock and the barn, pulling the car of one of my Lovely Housemates up from where it had gotten a bit stuck behind the house, jump-starting and recharging the battery of my partner's car, repairing one of the garage doors, and other similar stuff that made me feel mighty useful -- sore, and tired, but in general, a good tired. I put the tractor back in the barn, turned off the lights, stepped outside into the paddock, and... was almost blinded by the beauty of the just-past full-moon shining on the snow, and a heavens full of what my son would rightly describe as a gazillion stars. They'd been patiently waiting for me to finish my work and notice them. Or, not, they'd sure be there, whether I noticed them or not. Yet, a precious blessing, the constellations slowly spun above, leapt out at me, vigorously reenacting their endless celestial tales just as if I was an ancient Greek shepherd gazing skyward.
I gaped awhile in breathless wonder, soaking in what I could of the eternal cosmic dance going on above me, and it was a perfect moment. Really, truly perfect, a pure shimmering space of bliss. I was reminded that perfection, like balance, is a condition, not a state -- it's dynamic, always moving, not some static thing to be achieved once and then you're done. Tonight, it came, it went, and it left behind gratitude, wonder, and a few lingering thoughts.
The call to do the Work is a call to do the Work, not a call to do work so that you can say you're doing the work and be too busy to do the Work.
Oh.
For six or seven years now, I've been increasingly hearing the call to go back to the land of some of my ancestors, a land that deeply calls me in song and story, music and myth, blood and bone. The last time I went, a spiritual mentor told me that my ancestors there had something to tell me, something important. And...I'm not sure I was listening, it was a short, busy trip, I was caught up in other things, distracted. So I wonder if this time I'll be listening, if I'll be truly ready to hear what they have to say, if I'll answer the call, and understand it if I do. There are no second chances, no repetitions -- each moment is unique, passes and is gone. But some stories can be retold, perhaps with different settings, different characters, different choices, even different endings, but be still the true Tale, the real myth, those stories that lie hidden, powerful, entwining, passing under and through all of the other lesser stories, and bring them to life.
I note that "replay" means to do something over, but it also means to play again. I'm thinking about replaying -- to let myself truly deeply, freely play again. As Pan teaches, play may well be wisdom enough for anyone.
It seems to me that it's often only when you've given up any hope or expectation that there are any Answers, that you find them. I mean, sure, there are answers, here and there, some trivial, some profound, but there are no Answers. Even the concept seems absurd. But hmm, yes, there are, and they tend to swim out in the corners of your vision, fleeting and ephemeral, darting in, slipping away, then steal in wanton and shameless only when you're not looking. Here's one:
If you enter into a game knowing that you can't win, you have a real freedom. You can relax into it. You can enjoy what happens, as it happens, instead of focusing on some supposed goal state. Since the outcome isn't in doubt, if you're wise, you don't have to pay so much attention to learning the rules, or playing by them. You can do as you like, play-fully enjoy the moments of interaction with others, you can find other things to focus on, you can simply enjoy the play itself.
That's what life is. You're not going to win, so enjoy the frickin' game already, hmm? All you have to do to be happier is let go of the need to win, let go of that pernicious and illogical illusion that you can somehow, if you work hard enough or are smart enough, or are good enough, or make the right choices or lay the best plans.
It doesn't work that way. I, you, every one of us, and our children and their children, are born, live, and are going to die, and when we do, whatever we have done and accumulated here will not be coming with us. When the game is over, all of the pieces and prizes we've accumulated stay on the board. Let go of the need to win, take a deep breath, let it go, and be free to enjoy the game! As the eternal Bard wrote, the play's the thing. So let's play!
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 09:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 11:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 01:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 02:03 pm (UTC)(And - I like ephemeries.)
no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 04:15 pm (UTC)This one landed for me before you even wrote it. :-) Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 10:35 pm (UTC)And yer very welcome!
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 10:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 11:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 04:39 pm (UTC)In my career right now, my feeling that the line between the work and the Work is pretty thin, and often I'm just on one side or the other, depending on what I'm thinking of that day, what stories there are to be told, and so on... I feel lucky for that.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 12:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 12:21 am (UTC)Someday I'd like to find out what sorts of freelance work you've been doing. We never talk shop, and I know so few fellow journalists, and you don't post about that stuff in LJ.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 04:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 05:08 pm (UTC)Amen.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 06:56 pm (UTC)How very insightful, relevant and pertinent! Your message speaks to me as I have been having some productive ephipanies lately. How lovely to think that I could evolve so much as to integrate these types of epiphanies every day into my critical thinking process.
With Sisterly love,
Swansister
no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 06:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 07:53 pm (UTC)> not a call to do work so that you can say you're doing the work
> and be too busy to do the Work.
There is also another statement which applies to those who do not yet understand the joy of work which I get from Nema many years ago:
Let those who would undertake the Great Work first come to understand work, and get lear to receive joy therefrom.
You already understand that one. Some I have met do not.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 06:15 pm (UTC)Thanks for the compliment, Alobar, I appreciate it.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 11:43 pm (UTC)My biggest Work right now, it would seem, is not to quit. That's on a lot of levels. A subdivision of that Work, it would seem, is to consider other options, keeping in mind what is unacceptable to me, and what I absolutely need in order to function. Right now, that's fitting into my life work-wise and Work-wise. (*boggle*) No wonder I'm tired... ;>
It helps to know the constellations are out there...it helps to remember that the sun is strengthening. It helps to breathe. And, it helps to play. More of that would be nice. :>
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 11:47 pm (UTC)I find that play feeds me. When I cut out play, I'm fasting, working on reserves. Works for a little while, but soon enough, I'm starving and start getting weaker, which makes working harder, and...vicious cycle. Gotta get that life-force flowing, let Fetch play a bit, and sometimes more'n a bit! I'll help remind you if you help remind me. Deal?
no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 12:44 am (UTC)I'm tired of being tired...and I'm just as done with your overworkedness, dammit.
When's good for you?
no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 10:12 pm (UTC)