Feri weekend
Jan. 9th, 2006 07:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chelidonHaving just again hosted a full house of folks taking the amazing Thorn Coyle's (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yezida) excellent Feri training on the land here, a couple of things come to mind. First, how very glad I am to be able to offer our space and help support the container for this kind of work. And it was wonderful, just a delight, spending time with old friends, making new friends, having this work take place on the land...it's a two-way energy exchange, and ideally, the work feeds the land as much as the land feeds and holds the work.
And having a full house, especially during the winter, when everyone is by necessity in closer quarters than at other times of the year, also reminds me that people have widely varying levels of social clue, and reminds me again of how important boundaries are. Most folks are incredibly respectful, and there are thankfully only a very few folks for whom, for instance, being told which parts of a facility are off-limits, and signs saying "Private Area: Please Keep Out" are insufficient information. There are, I've noted, patterns of behavior which show either ignorance, or a lack of respect and courtesy for one's peers and companions, and, at times, they have to be dealt with, to prevent the discourtesy from detracting from everyone's experience.
Which reminds me of something one of my mentors taught me long ago, in that case specifically about working with Faery, but it applies to a very wide variety of circumstances: "Courtesy, and good manners, will serve you well between the worlds, and in all the worlds." And she didn't mean the kind of good manners involving curling your pinky when drinking tea, though there's nothing necessarily wrong with that either, but more the kind of fundamental respect one should show other beings at all times, and particularly when in sacred space, or when working in someone else's domain, or across domains. Offering and accepting hospitality are sacred acts. Treating others with courtesy, trying to treat others well, following the intent of keeping situations positive and productive, not putting one's own immediate egoic gratification and short-term desires and wants above all else, being generally polite...these are the foundations of most successful interactions between beings. Our ancestors knew this well. Concepts like hearth-right, obligations to and by guests, and so on, were not stylized elaborate games of social conduct at all, they were the ways in which healthy cultures formalized and emphasized the basic respect for fellow human beings that makes interactions successful, and sustainable. From "character is what you do in the dark," to "whatsoever you do to the least of these, you do unto me," to "travellers and guests are given the place of honor nearest the hearth-fire," basic courtesy, basic respect, in public and private, is a core value that works. The old unrepentant Celt in me bristles at discourtesy -- it's one of the sins I can forgive least easily. Even people I don't like deserve basic courtesy -- it's a way of honoring the divinity in each of us. And it's a way of honoring our humanity as well, by showing that one is capable of and willing to step aside from one's ego for a moment. It offers the opportunity to get away from the resolute self-centeredness that is all too easy to fall into, to consider oneself not only in isolation, but in respectful relationship to those others around one. Courtesy is a tool of connectedness, and ironically but inescapably, connectedness is essential to finding and moving forward on our own paths.
And as important as courtesy and manners are in day-to-day human conduct, that goes doubly for magickal work, and trebly for anything having to do with Faery. In many realms, you show a hint of discourtesy and/or bad manners, and you are going to be in deep and serious trouble very quickly. It really, really helps to learn the rules.
Oh, Thorn...having built the pit to your specs, I'm glad it got good use during the weekend. But what should we do with the folks who are still down there? Should we toss food down, or are they supposed to be fasting? When can we let them out, or do they need to find their own path? I meant to ask earlier, but it slipped my mind. Whoops. (*wicked grin*)
yezida) excellent Feri training on the land here, a couple of things come to mind. First, how very glad I am to be able to offer our space and help support the container for this kind of work. And it was wonderful, just a delight, spending time with old friends, making new friends, having this work take place on the land...it's a two-way energy exchange, and ideally, the work feeds the land as much as the land feeds and holds the work.And having a full house, especially during the winter, when everyone is by necessity in closer quarters than at other times of the year, also reminds me that people have widely varying levels of social clue, and reminds me again of how important boundaries are. Most folks are incredibly respectful, and there are thankfully only a very few folks for whom, for instance, being told which parts of a facility are off-limits, and signs saying "Private Area: Please Keep Out" are insufficient information. There are, I've noted, patterns of behavior which show either ignorance, or a lack of respect and courtesy for one's peers and companions, and, at times, they have to be dealt with, to prevent the discourtesy from detracting from everyone's experience.
Which reminds me of something one of my mentors taught me long ago, in that case specifically about working with Faery, but it applies to a very wide variety of circumstances: "Courtesy, and good manners, will serve you well between the worlds, and in all the worlds." And she didn't mean the kind of good manners involving curling your pinky when drinking tea, though there's nothing necessarily wrong with that either, but more the kind of fundamental respect one should show other beings at all times, and particularly when in sacred space, or when working in someone else's domain, or across domains. Offering and accepting hospitality are sacred acts. Treating others with courtesy, trying to treat others well, following the intent of keeping situations positive and productive, not putting one's own immediate egoic gratification and short-term desires and wants above all else, being generally polite...these are the foundations of most successful interactions between beings. Our ancestors knew this well. Concepts like hearth-right, obligations to and by guests, and so on, were not stylized elaborate games of social conduct at all, they were the ways in which healthy cultures formalized and emphasized the basic respect for fellow human beings that makes interactions successful, and sustainable. From "character is what you do in the dark," to "whatsoever you do to the least of these, you do unto me," to "travellers and guests are given the place of honor nearest the hearth-fire," basic courtesy, basic respect, in public and private, is a core value that works. The old unrepentant Celt in me bristles at discourtesy -- it's one of the sins I can forgive least easily. Even people I don't like deserve basic courtesy -- it's a way of honoring the divinity in each of us. And it's a way of honoring our humanity as well, by showing that one is capable of and willing to step aside from one's ego for a moment. It offers the opportunity to get away from the resolute self-centeredness that is all too easy to fall into, to consider oneself not only in isolation, but in respectful relationship to those others around one. Courtesy is a tool of connectedness, and ironically but inescapably, connectedness is essential to finding and moving forward on our own paths.
And as important as courtesy and manners are in day-to-day human conduct, that goes doubly for magickal work, and trebly for anything having to do with Faery. In many realms, you show a hint of discourtesy and/or bad manners, and you are going to be in deep and serious trouble very quickly. It really, really helps to learn the rules.
Oh, Thorn...having built the pit to your specs, I'm glad it got good use during the weekend. But what should we do with the folks who are still down there? Should we toss food down, or are they supposed to be fasting? When can we let them out, or do they need to find their own path? I meant to ask earlier, but it slipped my mind. Whoops. (*wicked grin*)
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-09 03:37 pm (UTC)On a tangential note, I like to use Miss Manners when doing therapy with clients. (Perhaps surprisingly, clients often find the work of refining their own behavior to be empowering.) I believe, firmly, that if more people acted politely towards others, the world would need fewer shrinks.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-09 11:15 pm (UTC)Um...I'm afraid to ask
no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 02:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 05:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 05:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 10:12 pm (UTC)