Nuclear Fiction
Jan. 30th, 2005 08:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chelidonSubmitted for your consideration, a somewhat casually edited but still intriguing missive received on a mailing list today. Thank goodness, at last, all of the world's energy problems solved.
Of course, were this actually to prove to be the case, all novelists could expect to find themselves under lock and key as "strategic national resources," so I suppose we'd better all be glad it's "only fiction"...or is it?
'scuse, gotta go, someone's at the door.
-------
Jan 30th, 2005
Scientists Invent New Form of Energy Powered by Novelists!
In the very near future you may have no need to fear messy nuclear meltdowns whilst watching TV or browsing the Internet. This is because scientists at the Institute of Interdisciplinary Physics at Memorial University of Newfoundland have developed the world's first nuclear reactor powered by the cutting edge technique known as 'Nuclear Fiction'.
"We were trying to find a way of developing an abundant supply of clean, renewable energy which depends upon the labor power of Real Human Beings for its principle propellant. This is when we discovered the power of stories to alter the structure of the atom on the quantum level," says Institute president, Michael McGeorgestown. According to McGeorgestown, the energy released by only twelve mediocre novelists is enough to power a small city. "One Genius, and you have the whole country covered.", he adds. The discovery rests on the astonishing capacity of the mythic imagination to literally 'seize' up the quantum field around a designated perimeter, and force all particles within this field to vibrate to a chosen frequency, literally forcing all sub-atomic activity to unfold into specified pattern-dynamics.
"It's very exciting to be working on this project", says poet Dara Duchane; Assistant Experimental Fictionist; "There is room for every genre! We are finally ready to show the world what a good story can do!"
The project is not without its skeptics, however. "There is a potential for this to get seriously out of hand" says Ronald Norveen, of Petro Canada's Advanced Research Board. "There is no telling what could happen if the power of fiction was somehow released into the public sphere. Terrorists are just waiting for an opportunity to destabilize the Democratic Truth. History is full of instances in which loss of narrative led to serious consequences. I mean look at 'the Jesus Incident'. Serious regulatory inquiries need to be made about this, pronto."
In the meantime, the project is going ahead anyway. With a crack team of 31 Experimental Fictionists already employed for the first phase of "Project Ourstory", McGeorgetown is ready to set his plan into motion on Tuesday Feb 1st. "The World will certainly not be the same. The Story is Out!". In the meantime, however, you can safely return to your television. It will be at least a year before Nuclear Fiction will be powering YOUR toaster, says the Institute.
Peter G. Had, St. John's Newfoundland
Of course, were this actually to prove to be the case, all novelists could expect to find themselves under lock and key as "strategic national resources," so I suppose we'd better all be glad it's "only fiction"...or is it?
'scuse, gotta go, someone's at the door.
-------
Jan 30th, 2005
Scientists Invent New Form of Energy Powered by Novelists!
In the very near future you may have no need to fear messy nuclear meltdowns whilst watching TV or browsing the Internet. This is because scientists at the Institute of Interdisciplinary Physics at Memorial University of Newfoundland have developed the world's first nuclear reactor powered by the cutting edge technique known as 'Nuclear Fiction'.
"We were trying to find a way of developing an abundant supply of clean, renewable energy which depends upon the labor power of Real Human Beings for its principle propellant. This is when we discovered the power of stories to alter the structure of the atom on the quantum level," says Institute president, Michael McGeorgestown. According to McGeorgestown, the energy released by only twelve mediocre novelists is enough to power a small city. "One Genius, and you have the whole country covered.", he adds. The discovery rests on the astonishing capacity of the mythic imagination to literally 'seize' up the quantum field around a designated perimeter, and force all particles within this field to vibrate to a chosen frequency, literally forcing all sub-atomic activity to unfold into specified pattern-dynamics.
"It's very exciting to be working on this project", says poet Dara Duchane; Assistant Experimental Fictionist; "There is room for every genre! We are finally ready to show the world what a good story can do!"
The project is not without its skeptics, however. "There is a potential for this to get seriously out of hand" says Ronald Norveen, of Petro Canada's Advanced Research Board. "There is no telling what could happen if the power of fiction was somehow released into the public sphere. Terrorists are just waiting for an opportunity to destabilize the Democratic Truth. History is full of instances in which loss of narrative led to serious consequences. I mean look at 'the Jesus Incident'. Serious regulatory inquiries need to be made about this, pronto."
In the meantime, the project is going ahead anyway. With a crack team of 31 Experimental Fictionists already employed for the first phase of "Project Ourstory", McGeorgetown is ready to set his plan into motion on Tuesday Feb 1st. "The World will certainly not be the same. The Story is Out!". In the meantime, however, you can safely return to your television. It will be at least a year before Nuclear Fiction will be powering YOUR toaster, says the Institute.
Peter G. Had, St. John's Newfoundland
