Who is responsible for your dreams?
Jul. 26th, 2005 11:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chelidonThis is a somewhat edited rough smooshing together of three LJ comments I made recently, on the topic of living your dreams.
It can be done, it happens every day. Occasionally, it happens through luck, or by stumbling onto it, but usually, almost always, it has to do with sacrifices, and the joyous, hard as hell work of doing it, really doing it -- of being willing to do whatever it takes over the long haul to live up to your dreams. You can make it happen, right here and right now. Start it today, here, now -- there's not a moment to lose. By the sweat of your work, by the work of your hands, by the joined hands of your loved ones and your communities, make the world where you live a rich and fertile place for dreams to take root and grow. Good luck, and good work, my fellow dreamers, and my fellow crafters of dreams into reality.
-------
Feeling a dream, and feeling unable to live it is frustrating, painful, even agonizing. I sympathize, I've been there. But I can also say that it can be done, because I did it. Not that life is by any means perfect (that's not humanly possible), but I'm truly living my dreams. And not because I was lucky, or fated, or even particularly skillful. All those things can help, I guess, but they're not what makes the biggest part of it. And not because I didn't make mistakes -- I've made, and still make plenty. I had to dedicate my life to my dream, and focus with purity and intensity on it for years (and still am). Virtually every choice made for a period of time could be looked at in terms of whether it brought the goal closer or moved it further away -- how time was spent, how money was spent, whether any individual choice made me more free or less free to pursue the dream. That's still no guarantee...but it's a start.
How strong is your desire...really? What are you willing to sacrifice, how much of a change in life do you really, truly want? For one example, I spent the first year we were living out here in the woods flying back and forth to my old job in D.C. every single $%#$ week. I missed half of the year with my family, I was miserable often, and I missed half of that year on this land...but it was the cost of my dream. And every time I was stuck in 2-hour-each-way rush-hour traffic, or dealing with the frustrations of my job, I could at least say to myself, "this is the price I chose to pay, and I won't have to do it forever." And I'd laid the groundwork for that frustrating, but necessary step in the process by finding a job, not that I really liked, but where I was necessary enough that after a while they were willing to have me fly in and out every week. That job, too, was a means to an end -- I gave it my best while I was in it, and then I moved on.
Anyway, I'm not so full of myself that I think my experiences are universal, or that I have any sure answers for anyone else, but I can tell you what worked for me. Find desire, focus intent, strengthen will. And take the Fool's Leap, wherever it goes.
I know I am completely, 100% responsible for manifesting what I say I believe, and nobody's to blame but me if I don't. Ain't nobody but me can manifest my dreams, and if I don't manifest them, it's almost always due to a failure of will, intent, and/or desire. That's not to say that every dream is possible, or wise, but if you find what you really desire strongly enough to see it though, and you're willing to live up to your dream, it often can and will happen, in some fashion or another, typically in surprising ways you could not possibly have imagined ahead of time. If your dream involves others, finding those precious, rare allies and comrades who genuinely share it, and who you can really depend on can be a key. Part of your manifestation of the dream can be gathering the right people who share it powerfully enough to help move it forward. But truly, in the end, if it's your dream, it comes down to you. As Sweet Honey In the Rock sings, we are the ones we have been waiting for. And you are the one you have been waiting for. Only you, nobody else. It's you. Stop waiting. Do it.
Put another way, your actions and effectiveness at manifestation are living proof of your level of desire, focus (intent), and will. If you're not getting what you think you want, if you can't put forth the effort, it's a good indication that you need to take a good, hard look at how much you really, truly want it. If you're not alone in this dream, maybe your partner(s) in the dream aren't truly invested in it -- if so, it's time to find new partners who do share the dream, or find a new dream. It's hard enough to fly -- it's virtually impossible with an anchor tied to your feet, or pulling a line of people who are themselves pulling in other directions. Even if it's just you, sometimes you only think you want it, or you want it because you think you should.
Desire isn't a thinking-self thing, not really -- it comes from places far deeper than your conscious brain, and desire isn't something you can convince yourself you do or don't have -- it either is or it isn't. Thinking self can help with focusing, clarifying and purifying intent, and that's key, too, as is bringing a strong will to bear on the situation, and aligning personal will with higher Will, the collective will of the universe, with historical forces, with your own god-self. But if your fundamental desire isn't strong enough to begin with, nothing will happen, or, rather, something will happen -- something always happens. It just won't be what you want to happen. Desire is the fuel, intent is the map and the steering, will is the engine.
On the other hand, when all three (will, intent, desire) line up, there's a feeling of purpose and clarity that is unbelievably powerful, of being in the right place, at the right time, doing the right work. And hopefully, almost essentially, there's plenty of fun and joy in there to feed your soul, too. I know that's essential for me. If I didn't love building and creating things -- barns, poems, relationships, things of beauty, places for people to share their stories, songs and truths, whatever, I wouldn't be doing it. If you don't love it, if it doesn't truly call to you, if it doesn't ravish and fire your soul, it's probably not a desire deep enough to deeply feed you, and it won't come to fruition. To paraphrase Rob Brezsny, the Goddess scorns all mediocre longings. Let your longings be legendary.
But if what you dream does light up your soul and your heart like an unquenchable torch, and then moves your hands to action...truly, nothing is impossible. You just have to be willing to live up to your dreams, and they will live up to you. It's simple, and hard, and you can do it.
To quote a semi-ancient literary and artistic work of no small wisdom, "Don't dream it, be it." And be it now.
It can be done, it happens every day. Occasionally, it happens through luck, or by stumbling onto it, but usually, almost always, it has to do with sacrifices, and the joyous, hard as hell work of doing it, really doing it -- of being willing to do whatever it takes over the long haul to live up to your dreams. You can make it happen, right here and right now. Start it today, here, now -- there's not a moment to lose. By the sweat of your work, by the work of your hands, by the joined hands of your loved ones and your communities, make the world where you live a rich and fertile place for dreams to take root and grow. Good luck, and good work, my fellow dreamers, and my fellow crafters of dreams into reality.
-------
Feeling a dream, and feeling unable to live it is frustrating, painful, even agonizing. I sympathize, I've been there. But I can also say that it can be done, because I did it. Not that life is by any means perfect (that's not humanly possible), but I'm truly living my dreams. And not because I was lucky, or fated, or even particularly skillful. All those things can help, I guess, but they're not what makes the biggest part of it. And not because I didn't make mistakes -- I've made, and still make plenty. I had to dedicate my life to my dream, and focus with purity and intensity on it for years (and still am). Virtually every choice made for a period of time could be looked at in terms of whether it brought the goal closer or moved it further away -- how time was spent, how money was spent, whether any individual choice made me more free or less free to pursue the dream. That's still no guarantee...but it's a start.
How strong is your desire...really? What are you willing to sacrifice, how much of a change in life do you really, truly want? For one example, I spent the first year we were living out here in the woods flying back and forth to my old job in D.C. every single $%#$ week. I missed half of the year with my family, I was miserable often, and I missed half of that year on this land...but it was the cost of my dream. And every time I was stuck in 2-hour-each-way rush-hour traffic, or dealing with the frustrations of my job, I could at least say to myself, "this is the price I chose to pay, and I won't have to do it forever." And I'd laid the groundwork for that frustrating, but necessary step in the process by finding a job, not that I really liked, but where I was necessary enough that after a while they were willing to have me fly in and out every week. That job, too, was a means to an end -- I gave it my best while I was in it, and then I moved on.
Anyway, I'm not so full of myself that I think my experiences are universal, or that I have any sure answers for anyone else, but I can tell you what worked for me. Find desire, focus intent, strengthen will. And take the Fool's Leap, wherever it goes.
I know I am completely, 100% responsible for manifesting what I say I believe, and nobody's to blame but me if I don't. Ain't nobody but me can manifest my dreams, and if I don't manifest them, it's almost always due to a failure of will, intent, and/or desire. That's not to say that every dream is possible, or wise, but if you find what you really desire strongly enough to see it though, and you're willing to live up to your dream, it often can and will happen, in some fashion or another, typically in surprising ways you could not possibly have imagined ahead of time. If your dream involves others, finding those precious, rare allies and comrades who genuinely share it, and who you can really depend on can be a key. Part of your manifestation of the dream can be gathering the right people who share it powerfully enough to help move it forward. But truly, in the end, if it's your dream, it comes down to you. As Sweet Honey In the Rock sings, we are the ones we have been waiting for. And you are the one you have been waiting for. Only you, nobody else. It's you. Stop waiting. Do it.
Put another way, your actions and effectiveness at manifestation are living proof of your level of desire, focus (intent), and will. If you're not getting what you think you want, if you can't put forth the effort, it's a good indication that you need to take a good, hard look at how much you really, truly want it. If you're not alone in this dream, maybe your partner(s) in the dream aren't truly invested in it -- if so, it's time to find new partners who do share the dream, or find a new dream. It's hard enough to fly -- it's virtually impossible with an anchor tied to your feet, or pulling a line of people who are themselves pulling in other directions. Even if it's just you, sometimes you only think you want it, or you want it because you think you should.
Desire isn't a thinking-self thing, not really -- it comes from places far deeper than your conscious brain, and desire isn't something you can convince yourself you do or don't have -- it either is or it isn't. Thinking self can help with focusing, clarifying and purifying intent, and that's key, too, as is bringing a strong will to bear on the situation, and aligning personal will with higher Will, the collective will of the universe, with historical forces, with your own god-self. But if your fundamental desire isn't strong enough to begin with, nothing will happen, or, rather, something will happen -- something always happens. It just won't be what you want to happen. Desire is the fuel, intent is the map and the steering, will is the engine.
On the other hand, when all three (will, intent, desire) line up, there's a feeling of purpose and clarity that is unbelievably powerful, of being in the right place, at the right time, doing the right work. And hopefully, almost essentially, there's plenty of fun and joy in there to feed your soul, too. I know that's essential for me. If I didn't love building and creating things -- barns, poems, relationships, things of beauty, places for people to share their stories, songs and truths, whatever, I wouldn't be doing it. If you don't love it, if it doesn't truly call to you, if it doesn't ravish and fire your soul, it's probably not a desire deep enough to deeply feed you, and it won't come to fruition. To paraphrase Rob Brezsny, the Goddess scorns all mediocre longings. Let your longings be legendary.
But if what you dream does light up your soul and your heart like an unquenchable torch, and then moves your hands to action...truly, nothing is impossible. You just have to be willing to live up to your dreams, and they will live up to you. It's simple, and hard, and you can do it.
To quote a semi-ancient literary and artistic work of no small wisdom, "Don't dream it, be it." And be it now.
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 04:48 am (UTC)I was determined not to let this trouble destroy my spirit. On impulse, I decided to do something risky: I sent an article off for consideration to a professional publication. "Big deal," you might sarcastically think. But it is! It is! This is a huge step for me because I have always been terrified of even attempting publication. I'm so shy email makes me sweat. But the act of just trying has been empowering. I don't even care if it is accepted because the article was fun to write.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 04:58 am (UTC)And yes, as a fellow writer, I think your motivations are perfect. If you write because you need to get published, well...I'm sure you've heard the stories about all the famous writers who got zillions of rejections before they sold anything, and they're all true. But if you write because you enjoy it, or because you simply must, that there are words you must get out, for whatever reason, then the inevitable rejections aren't so daunting. If you write because it pleases you to do so, writing is its own reward, which is (IMO) as it should be.
Congratulations on your milestone, and your courage! In my humble opinion, I believe you should treat yourself to something really special for that act. Self-reinforcement works wonders, donchaknow ;>
no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 05:37 am (UTC)As always, amazing stuff, and I very much agree with you.
I give people this discussion/rant/lecture now and then.
Beneath it is knowing, at least to a good extent, who you are -- because I don't know if you can have those deep gut-shaking desires without knowing yourself. I know some folks who feel so lost, who are looking for that passion and drive, but avoid knowing themselves. Maybe we know ourselves through following those passions, I don't know, but I've always felt self-knowledge and passion were intrinsically linked.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 01:09 pm (UTC)I remember back in the old Z-list days, Milosh aptly described the difficult nature of unifying ego towards some goal as being akin to getting a sack of frogs to jump in the same direction. Each frog represents a part of the Self. If you don't get to know those frogs, those various parts of your Self that all want different things, and you don't work to strengthen the ones that are most congruent with achieving your desire, self-sabotage is pretty much inevitable, because your frogs are always jumping in different directions. I've always really liked that metaphor.
Dunno if I mentioned it before, but I love your Muir Woods icon -- one of my favorite places, a true temple.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 03:40 pm (UTC)This conversation reminds me of something I was talking about with a friend last week. We talked about folks who use drugs, alcohol, etc. to escape their "base state." IOW, who they are when they're not using those kinds of mind-altering substances.
I tried to talk about the fact that people can change their "base state" to good extent, but so many do not realize it. I've certainly done a reasonable amount of tinkering on myself -- guiding how I approach various personal and social difficulties -- and while I still have some of the same *basic* dilemmas, I've gotten much better at recognizing them and handling them (more) gracefully when they arise.
There are lots of people too afraid to look into themselves, and while I understand it it also breaks my heart -- there's so little time to be wasted in not knowing this self you are, this self you have become and have created. But beyond that, so much depends upon being one's own ally, I think. I rarely know how to express any of these thoughts productively to folks who struggle to avoid knowing or understanding themselves -- some people just don't want to know what's under the lid, and others don't think any of it can be changed (or think that saying it can be changed is the same as blaming them for how it is now)...
Meh, I'm going to work myself into a point of frustration if I keep going.
Thanks for the compliment on the icon. Muir Woods is actually my second-favorite redwood grove (the first being Armstrong Woods in Guerneville, CA), but for a long time I kept being called to visit it, and it has a special place in my heart.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 04:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 07:22 pm (UTC)I hear and sympathize with your frustration, your compassion, and your heartbreak. I know whereof you speak. I don't think you can believe in the possibility for human growth (our own and others') without being an optimist, without the capacity, if not the tendency, to see the best, the potential, in people and situations. And being an optimist inevitably means being open to frequent, painful disappointment, in ourselves and in others. But perhaps, truly loving ourselves and others, truly having dedication to human potential (our own and others') means staying open to the potential in people and situations, even after profound disappointments. I know I struggle with that.
It's hard, and we're all doing our best. Sometimes that best isn't very good at all, and other times, we can surprise one another with sudden flashes of breathtaking beauty, true love, and genuine transcendence. I try to let the occasions of joyful surprise heal the natural tendency towards cynicism or bitterness after the disappointments. So far, it's working ;>
Another good icon -- caffeine-powered inspiration, indeed!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 08:37 pm (UTC)Like I wrote, my ego isn't so big I think I have any of "The Answers," but we have so many bad examples we're constantly indoctrinated by, about why we shouldn't go after our dreams, I figure part of my payback to the universe is to spread the counter-message that you *can* have what you desire, *if* you figure out what you really desire, and then live up to what that desire requires of you in order to be made manifest. Usually that requires sacrifice, and change, both of which are painful, but it's the pain of growth and life, not the pain of death. It's simple, and it's hard, and it's so very, very worth it.
There are so many compelling excuses we're taught and that we teach ourselves to convince ourselves that deferring and denying our dreams is prudent, rational, normal, the safe thing, the right thing to do. Bollocks. You get this one wild and precious life, as Mary Oliver put it, and it goes by pretty damn fast -- best make full use of every sacred moment. Life's too short for mediocre longings. I think I'm going to print up a T-shirt with that on it - "No Mediocre Longings," or perhaps, "My Goddess Disdains Mediocre Longings" ;> Heh.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 10:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 10:16 pm (UTC)how interesting, just today i was telling myself, you have to be willing to sacrifice certain things to make this dream happen, and that it will be worth it.
it helps to get synchronous reminders :)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 12:55 am (UTC)allies! wow what a great word. i was raised to be suspicious of the world and still find myself struggling to overcome that programming. what a great expectation to set, that the people i draw to me and encounter are allies...
~namaste~ :)