important things

[chelidon]

beaches
sand between my toes
rest
laughter with good friends
laughter at and for myself
time off
time on
time to myself
hot tubs
sleep
good food, good drink, good times: feeding oneself in all the ways that are important and necessary
sharing music, stories and the other most special things of life
knowing what matters, and as far as posible, filling life with those people, experiences and things
compassion for others, and so much harder, compassion for myself
communication
listening
play
more play
magick and mystery
going away, and coming back
family of choice, family of blood
waves breaking on my legs, sunshine on my head and back
lessons of fresh water and salty water
gratitude for every precious moment, every lesson, every experience, everything
more lessons of water, bitter and sweet, and the importance of both -- too much salt is fatal, and so is too little.
deepening my profound appreciation for the people I choose to have in my life, and who choose to have me in theirs
self-knowledge, exploring needs, responsibilities, patterns and all the messy, juicy, untidy bits that make us human
courage
healing, for others and so much harder,for oneself
choices
moving forward, embracing the fullness and complexity of life, opening to all the joys and sorrows
and always, always, love

Comments

[ardaraith.livejournal.com]

_{healing, for others and so much harder,for oneself}

i've been wondering about this lately. is it really harder to heal, or focus on healing for, oneself than others?

it is easy for me to see what others need, how others can be helped but to see the truth of myself is so much harder. to look into that mirror, silver or black, and know myself?

but my mind so easily focuses on what i want, what i need...discussions are about me. what i need of the other. what i want them to do differently to make me happy. that is very self focused. so about 'my' healing.

it is so very hard to listen from the others perspective. to let go of my own desires, needs, murmurings enough to hear them out. hear their need, their pain. see it from their eyes.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

basic sympathy is easy (well, except for the sociopathic, etc) -- empathy is harder, since, as you say, it's hard to get one's own ego and needs out of the way.

What I was getting at there is that for me, it's easier to focus on other's needs and to work with other people's problems than to accept healing for myself from others, or focus on that work myself. That's the same reason many people feel a strong desire to teach, I've noticed.

I personally have so much concern about being overly selfish that I tend to overcompensate in the other direction. Balance, always a movinng balance, between one's own needs and those of others.

[ardaraith.livejournal.com]

what do you mean about the reason many people feel a strong desire to teach? That those feeling that desire have a more difficult time focusing on the work for themselves? explain

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Oh, I could go on for hours about this, and it's complex enough to not summarize easily. Taking on the role of teacher can be unconsciously perceived as a way to avoid the hard self-work by putting oneself in a role of perceived authority, putting oneself "above" detailed examination by others, and by oneself. Of course it often doesn't work that way in non-hierarchical trads, but the sense of it is still deeply ingrained. And also the busyness of teaching is another way to avoid the time necessary for true self-examination, running so fast there's not time enough to do the real Work on oneself.

[ardaraith.livejournal.com]

i can twinkle the 'avoiding the time necessary' idea, teacher or no. there is a sinister force at work to contrive busyness for all, in order to prevent self growth. (my alien theory..oh, ok, conspiracy theory more like). my entire life has been in a holding pattern for the last four months simply because i have not had the time.

this past sunday opened up all sorts of new possibilities for me because i had the time to dream them.

please give morgana big juicy kisses for me
and hug the dark lord deeply :-)

[morrigandaughtr.livejournal.com]

can you give morgana big juicy kisses for me, too? and hug the dark lord deeply again? also, both of you hug yourselves. the trials and tribulations of distance! bah!

meanwhile . . . on your alien conspiracy theory thingie, rowan, i identify it as part of The Hex

xoxoxoxoxoxo

[mystfemme.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I didn't get to see you this weekend. =(

Am glad you're getting to see all the other Tejas folks, tho.

Hugz, Zann

[lylythe-strega.livejournal.com]

I fully understand the trials and tribulations of distance. It's bad enough when the distance is physical...when it's emotional, it's a bit more sticky. It's hard watching people you love going through their hells alone, especially if you don't understand the "why".

Chel, it sounds beautiful there. I'm glad you have that time and that space to do what you need to...we're keeping the hearth warm for you... ;>

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Yeppers, I missed seeing you, too -- will you be at Wild Flower? If not, I'll see you at camp, yes?

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Thanks, this trip has been very necessary for me, and I hope to come back home refreshed, relaxed, rested and much less stressed. So mote it be ;>

[ardaraith.livejournal.com]

please post again about The Hex. I don't remember it's words.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Will do :> This beach trip has been good for all of us, I think. I spent so many years living surrounded by the ocean, that it's very good for me on a deep level to be at the shore for a while. It feels right, it smells right, tasting sea salt on my lips tastes right, and so on. Sand between my toes is very healing -- kinda like suddenly exhaling, not having realized you were holding yer breath. Yum.

[morrigandaughtr.livejournal.com]

Where are you (which beach)?

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Port Aransas -- it's quite lovely, because it's off-season, so there's very few other people around, we almost have the beach to ourselves at times. I took a long walk this morning along the beach and perhaps saw 10 people total all the way up and back. We'll be going to Padre Island park (national seashore, or state park? whatever) later today. Yum :>

[morrigandaughtr.livejournal.com]

Yes, Yum!

Re: I just F***ing love you!

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, and the very same right backatcha :>