the (press) writer's life in a nutshell/lightbulb

[chelidon]

sent to me by a colleague, probably funnier if you're in the biz:

Q: How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I can't tell whether you mean 'change a light bulb' or 'have sex in a
light bulb'. Can we reword it to remove the ambiguity?

Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. But first they have to rewire the entire building.

Q: How many managing editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!

Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?

Q: How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors. Is the
difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be changed? It
seems inconsistent.

Q: How many marketing directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?

Q: How many proofreaders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Proofreaders aren't supposed to change light bulbs. They should just make
margin notes about them.

Q: How many writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: But why do we have to CHANGE it?

Q: How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in, and two to hold down the author. (ROFLOL!!!!)

Q: How many sales people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, and they'll be glad to do it too, except no one shipped them
any.

Comments

[snakey.livejournal.com]

Having worked for publishers for years (B2B rather than creative), these *killed* me. Also having done the proofreading/copy-editing thing - those ones in particular had me ROTFL.

[kaigou.livejournal.com]

It's all true for fiction, too. And tech writing, except we don't have marketers, we have clients -- and they're just as bad.

[chibidrunksanzo.livejournal.com]

Directed here by sgreer. These cracked me the heck up. *still snickering*

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

[veedub.livejournal.com]

stet

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

This rocks!

[beth-bernobich.livejournal.com]

::laughs myself silly::

Oh my. Thank you.

[morrigandaughtr.livejournal.com]

To be read after one swallows coffee. Not *while* one attempts to swallow coffee.

Sheesh.

[pnh.livejournal.com]

I love the fact that this is once more circling the globe as anonymous internet samisdat. It was in fact compiled by me and tnh in the offices of Tor, in roughly 1989.

I'm pretty sure jokes 2, 3, 4, 5, and 7 were made up by Teresa. The publisher joke was from Tom Whitmore. This current generation of the list is missing one of mine:

Q. How many mass-market cover copy writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A vast and teeming horde, stretching from sea to shining sea!

Also, the original marketing-director joke was:

Q. How many marketing directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I get it! This is one of those "joke" things, right?

[papersky.livejournal.com]

I think I once quoted 5 to Teresa! Eep. Oh well, I suppose fame is being quoted back to yourself.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Too funny, and thanks for the info -- you've achieved true immortality, being one with the eternal "Anonymous" (who wrote some of our best tales, it seems)! I'll have to pass the attribution on to my colleague, who I believe got it from his wife, who got it from... etc.

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

*g* I've had the "You might be a gamer if--" list quoted back to me. It's a bit surreal.

And that explains why I've heard most of these from Steve, come to think of it. Hey, Patrick, tell Teresa her writers aren't attributing her!

[par-avion.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[1muse.livejournal.com]

thank you. thank you very, very much.

you might be a writer if.

[alzm.livejournal.com]

You might be a fellow writer if this indeed amused the living sh.. out off you.
Anyway... back to the salt mines.
Have unfinished manuscript must meet dreaded deadline!!!!

[snapes-angel.livejournal.com]

Q: How many writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: But why do we have to CHANGE it?

Does it impact the plot?

[snapes-angel.livejournal.com]

Got you beat, aven't even had my coffee yet. >^~,0^

[kaigou.livejournal.com]

*snark*

Yeah, that about sums it up.