21 and counting...

I went out to dinner with my partner last night to celebrate 21 years together (hey, we're "legal" now!). We had excellent Italian food (mmm, venison, mmmm, Tiramiiiiisuuu), good Tuscany Italian wine, and talked about everything under the sun, from friends and family, to working out trance details for the first part of a year long Rites of Passage/teacher-training class we're co-teaching starting next week at our place, and plans for a magickal arts restorative we're putting on in April.

And today I'm looking back at the last 21 years, and realizing some things. First and foremost, is the fact that bottomless depths of love, unbridled lust, and complete and utter respect as friends, loves, peers, allies and parents aside, we got here because we worked for it, every day, every year. Luck will only take you so far, being "in love" will only take you so far, common interests, aligned spiritual paths, shared history, and so on, will only take you so far.

What has gotten us this far is the desire to do it, the willingness to do the work together, and the actuality of making it happen. Sometimes the work is fun, other times it's not nearly. There's plenty of joy, and more than a little pain and shared sorrow. It's not that we can't conceive of being apart -- that would be a relationship based on need, on co-dependence. We could live apart, we just don't want to. It's a choice to be together, through good times and bad, because this is a person with whom I have chosen to spend my life, to be a trusted and loved companion throughout this life, and hopefully in others as well.

And, it is a willingness and desire for each of us to put the other's needs and desires at least co-equal with our own. Self-sacrifice isn't what it's about -- that's martyrdom, and not sustainable. Each person must know themself, and be true to their self. But it's not about selfishness either, it can't be. We give, we take, and in the end, there is a true balance, a reciprocity, a genuine desire for the other person to be happy, and the necessary actions taken to make it so, even if what makes them happy isn't the easiest, most convenient, or most personally preferable thing for the other. That's no small thing, and I've seen a lot of relationships fall apart on that very point.

After 21 years, we still strike sparks -- while there are enough similarities to be compatible, there are enough differences to make life interesting (sometimes very interesting...) This past couple of years has seen lifelong dreams made manifest, and other dreams taking clear form. Much has been left behind, and much that is new has taken root, where time will tell how well it all thrives in the bountiful garden we've built together. Our family (intentional and otherwise) has expanded, and will likely expand again, but the core of it all is love, in all of its complexity, mystery and wonder.

Despite what Virgil wrote, "Amor vincit omnia" ("Love conquers all") is not the truth, perhaps closer is "Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur" ("Even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time"). Still, "Amor est vitae essentia" ("Love is the essence of life"), that much is true.

And more to the point, for a long-term relationship, "Omnes ad unum in humum" ("Together into the dirt."), and "Ex uno disce omnes" "From one person, learn all people").

May we all love, ourselves, and others, truly.

Ah-yup. And not good.

Ready for $262/barrel oil? (subhed: Two of the world's most successful investors say oil will be in short supply in the coming months.)

The scions of the business world are finally starting to realize they, and we, are staring down the barrel of a loaded gun with regard to oil. And it's about time for that realization -- the hard numbers have been out there for years, but the rose-coloured-glasses, head-in-the-sand response has, until recently, been dominant. Of course, the investors mentioned aren't making thse predictions for humanitarian reasons -- they're worred about profit. And some of the scenarios they envision as worst-case are pretty unlikely, but all of the scenarios point out that the demand-supply curves of oil in the world right now mean we're just one unfortunate or adverse event, from terrorist attack to another killer hurricane, away from hyper-spiking prices. It's not a question of whether, it's when.

evil word-play

Okay, for you writer-folk and grammar-geeks out here, a word-play game for them's that's game themselves...

These aren't...quite Tom Swiftisms ("The freeze has killed the entire orange crop!" she wailed, fruitlessly.), or Swift-Tommies ("So said the lawyer's wife, Sue"), but something...else.

For the thread that gave these birth, see here

Here's the pattern (taken from the bottom of above thread), you can see how it evolved:

1. There! (she exclaimed pointedly)
2 . "Help, help, I'm in prison!" he said with conviction.
3. "I guess that's the end of it," said the proctologist. (...or "that's it, in the end!")
4. "Eh, I'm on my period, " dripped the grammarian.

So take that last one, perhaps, as a thrown gauntlet, and come back with something truly evily wicked, that follows roughly the same pattern (classic Tom Swiftisms count, too) The declared winner will receive the overwhelming accolade of her or his peers, and the period from sentence 4, above...

miscellania

Oh, wow. Many thanks to cerr for this one: British Library Online Gallery

*all* of them are amazing... Oh, the hours sure to be wasted, nay...well-spent!

And tonight. while reading my boy a chapter from Peter And The Starcatchers (a "prequel" to Peter Pan), I was reflecting on the fact that he passed a milestone today. The phone rang, my partner answered, one of his classmates (the classically-named, and somewhat trouble-making "Apollo") asked for my boy, and after he took the phone, set up a play-date with him. This is a first, a direct call between our son and a friend to set up a get-together, no parents instigating or involved. We discussed afterwards with him the need in the future to have both sets of parents involved for any such rendezvous, but y'know, this is just the beginning. It won't be long before I start hearing, "oh, Dad, not now, gotta go, I want to go play with my friends." And Dad's storytelling and songs every night before bedtime won't be such a special time, and instead of. "oh, please, just one more chapter"? eventually, it'll be "aw, Dad, I have to stay up and do homework, I don't have time for stories."

So I'm holding every moment precious, because sure it is, each moment only comes the once, and then (*poof*) it's gone.