safety, truth-telling and authenticity
Jan. 12th, 2005 08:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chelidonIt's snowingSnowingSNOWING, woo hoo! The trees are again thoroughly dusted with anti-shadows, and the gloriously magickal nature of the world is even more resplendent and obvious than usual. Starting later today, though, they're predicting almost 48 straight hours of ice, rain and freezing rain, and a high tomorrow of almost 50 degrees F, in *mid-January* Bah to global warming, sez I.
This is a list post I wrote a couple of years back, after being involved in helping to teach a week-long intensive camp which centered, in part, around truth-telling, being your "authentic self," and the story of Thomas the Rhymer. For me it touches on the work and role of the artist (which we all are), and especially on the importance for us to have space to tell our own truths, but also the knowledge that truth-telling is an inherently unsafe art ;>
-------
Here is one of my stories, that is true for me:
Being your authentic self, and sharing your own stories is very, very important, even essential, both for personal growth, for the health of the local community, and for the world as a whole. I personally will do what I can to make space in my life, and in the world, for those stories to be told.
However, being my authentic self is not an easy thing. There is no guarantee that others will receive my stories in any particular way, and in fact, if I tell my stories with a particular goal, response or outcome in my mind, I may well be disappointed. In some cases, to act so could even be considered manipulative-- at the least, it is likely an unrealistic goal. If I share my story, I do it because it seems right to do so, and I try to give up too much attachment to any particular outcome from the telling. I may have hopes, but try not to have expectations. Others will receive my truths in their own way, or they may choose not to hear them at all. That is not my choice, or something over which I have any control-- my choice lies only in being true to myself, and telling the stories I feel it is right to share. In fact, if everybody agrees with my stories, those stories are probably not actually deeply true or significant. If I agree with all of the stories I hear around me, I am probably in too comfortable a space, and am not fully engaging with the world.
Being in your authentic self is no guarantee of safety, in fact, it is a recipe for being unsafe. There is an old Mongolian proverb: "Those who would speak the truth should keep one foot in the stirrup."
Safety is overrated. Most, if not all, of the greatest things in life which people do, occur as a result of being unsafe, of walking over the line. Change is unsafe, and life is change. Compassion is relentless, joy is relentless, love is relentless, and none of them are remotely safe. If you reach out and touch the infinite, if you genuinely identify your own small ego-self with the entire universe, you will be changed, and change can often be unpleasant and uncomfortable...
That does not mean, for me, that I should seek to be unsafe or to deliberately put myself into situations which increase injury or hazard in my life-- that seems generally like an unhelpful and unwise pattern, and one which can be a convenient excuse to avoid doing my real Work by artificially manufacturing situations which inevitably result in crisis and chaos. Deep truths are often unsafe, but it does not then follow that what is unsafe is always true or useful. The True Fool does not seek out the cliff or the flame, but neither does s/he turn away from it, if that is where the path leads.
To be true, to touch and be the divine, to taste and be dissolved in the One Taste of the kosmos, to engage with the vital, pulsing eternal cycle of life and death, to experience the infinite fullness, splendor and terror of the universe and come to the place of ultimate, timeless paradoxical, joyously terrible truth, beauty and love... how could that even begin to ever be considered the least bit "safe?" The Wild is not safe-- if it were, it would not be the Wild.
So my job is not to try to make things safe, or comfortable. My job is to make the space to tell my own stories, and to listen to others when they tell theirs. I do not need to agree, I do not necessarily need to defend my beliefs or attack others, or have any particular predetermined reaction at all. What I need to do, is listen, with compassion, from a place of authentic self, not veiled by expectations of how I should respond or what I should think or feel. That, for me, is the precious place of authentic being.
Once again, thank you all for sharing your truths-- they bring me tremendous joy. They are all bits of the infinite diversity of life, and all precious pieces of the whole, splendorous, unsolvable puzzle.
Warm hearth and sweet medicine,
--Chelidon
-------
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
--Gandhi
This is a list post I wrote a couple of years back, after being involved in helping to teach a week-long intensive camp which centered, in part, around truth-telling, being your "authentic self," and the story of Thomas the Rhymer. For me it touches on the work and role of the artist (which we all are), and especially on the importance for us to have space to tell our own truths, but also the knowledge that truth-telling is an inherently unsafe art ;>
-------
Here is one of my stories, that is true for me:
Being your authentic self, and sharing your own stories is very, very important, even essential, both for personal growth, for the health of the local community, and for the world as a whole. I personally will do what I can to make space in my life, and in the world, for those stories to be told.
However, being my authentic self is not an easy thing. There is no guarantee that others will receive my stories in any particular way, and in fact, if I tell my stories with a particular goal, response or outcome in my mind, I may well be disappointed. In some cases, to act so could even be considered manipulative-- at the least, it is likely an unrealistic goal. If I share my story, I do it because it seems right to do so, and I try to give up too much attachment to any particular outcome from the telling. I may have hopes, but try not to have expectations. Others will receive my truths in their own way, or they may choose not to hear them at all. That is not my choice, or something over which I have any control-- my choice lies only in being true to myself, and telling the stories I feel it is right to share. In fact, if everybody agrees with my stories, those stories are probably not actually deeply true or significant. If I agree with all of the stories I hear around me, I am probably in too comfortable a space, and am not fully engaging with the world.
Being in your authentic self is no guarantee of safety, in fact, it is a recipe for being unsafe. There is an old Mongolian proverb: "Those who would speak the truth should keep one foot in the stirrup."
Safety is overrated. Most, if not all, of the greatest things in life which people do, occur as a result of being unsafe, of walking over the line. Change is unsafe, and life is change. Compassion is relentless, joy is relentless, love is relentless, and none of them are remotely safe. If you reach out and touch the infinite, if you genuinely identify your own small ego-self with the entire universe, you will be changed, and change can often be unpleasant and uncomfortable...
That does not mean, for me, that I should seek to be unsafe or to deliberately put myself into situations which increase injury or hazard in my life-- that seems generally like an unhelpful and unwise pattern, and one which can be a convenient excuse to avoid doing my real Work by artificially manufacturing situations which inevitably result in crisis and chaos. Deep truths are often unsafe, but it does not then follow that what is unsafe is always true or useful. The True Fool does not seek out the cliff or the flame, but neither does s/he turn away from it, if that is where the path leads.
To be true, to touch and be the divine, to taste and be dissolved in the One Taste of the kosmos, to engage with the vital, pulsing eternal cycle of life and death, to experience the infinite fullness, splendor and terror of the universe and come to the place of ultimate, timeless paradoxical, joyously terrible truth, beauty and love... how could that even begin to ever be considered the least bit "safe?" The Wild is not safe-- if it were, it would not be the Wild.
So my job is not to try to make things safe, or comfortable. My job is to make the space to tell my own stories, and to listen to others when they tell theirs. I do not need to agree, I do not necessarily need to defend my beliefs or attack others, or have any particular predetermined reaction at all. What I need to do, is listen, with compassion, from a place of authentic self, not veiled by expectations of how I should respond or what I should think or feel. That, for me, is the precious place of authentic being.
Once again, thank you all for sharing your truths-- they bring me tremendous joy. They are all bits of the infinite diversity of life, and all precious pieces of the whole, splendorous, unsolvable puzzle.
Warm hearth and sweet medicine,
--Chelidon
-------
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
--Gandhi
