pale twilight

[chelidon]

Despite the fact that my in-laws, who arrived at the Casa yesterday, immediately volunteered, bless their hearts, to take the 3am and 7am administering of my son's meds (leaving me with just the 11pm and 1am night-time slots), I find myself up all night again. Partially, there's a huge amount of backlogged work I need to get done asap (one of the inevitable elements of self-employment is no paid vacation time, and this past week or two has been chaotic, to say the least). And, partially, I'm just sitting here, about 10 feet from where my son is sleeping, watching over him and making sure he's okay, and that someone is up and available close at hand if he wakes up in pain, or needs someone. I'll plan to get plenty of rest this weekend, but this is, after all, only his second night home from the hospital, and I'm still in crisis-mode, still watchful, still on guard.

Being a night-owl, I rarely see the early pre-dawn hours, and they do have their own special beauty, pale and monochromatic as a moonlit night -- the light slowly, patiently growing, diffuse and wan, the half-seen world outside slowly taking shape and form through my office windows and skylights. I crack a closed window, and along with lush woodland smells, a delicious coolness wafts in -- it's 60 degrees outside and I'm just in comfy pajama pants. I listen to the sounds of the stream, and the wind, and cacophony of birdcall through the trees, and welcome, with them, the approaching dawn.

Comments

[thefirespiral.livejournal.com]

Wow, what a reminder of the old late nights with Jasmine. I truly empathize and hope things are better (i.e. no more 24 hr dosing) soon!

[threejane.livejournal.com]

I haven't been reading live-journal so I didn't get the news. I am so sorry to hear your son is not well, too. Please include my best wishes along with everyone else's. Thank goodness you have friends, family, and beauty near. I can't imagine how a person could cope otherwise.

crisis mode

[cerr.livejournal.com]

Takes a while for that to shake - when we first brought William home I was up most of the time just listening to him breathe checking - just checking - always listening with my whole being to his lungs working and his little heart beating and visualizing it all being as it needed to be - they tap us in to what's vital - like the early morning hours and the things going on around you - there's a true magic in the sounds of nature at dawn as the earth awakes and the quiet breathing of your sleeping child.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Thanks! As of today, we're trying to move one set of meds back to every 6 hrs, and see how that goes. Having one set of every 4 and others on every six meant that someone had to be up about every 2 hrs during the night. We'd planned to slowly taper off anyway, and we'll go back to the prior schedule if there are any issues at all, but I'm sure hoping for a bit more sleep soon!

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

All of those things have made it somewhat easier, for sure. There is something to be said for getting all of this stuff over with at once, but it does make for a rough couple of months. Many thanks for your kind thoughts and good wishes!

Re: crisis mode

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

Yeah...you got it. Exactly.