engagement

[chelidon]

Edited comment made to a post in yezida's journal:

Living fully is much about engagement, and true, deep intimacy with the world, not disengaging and becoming abstract, distant, and dead from the neck down. Even Bodhisattvas come back down the mountain...in fact, that's kinda the point of Bodhisattvas. It's no mistake that the biblical "knowing" of one person by another referred to sexual intimacy. To know something, truly know it, is to be intimate with it.

For me, I know that engagement can be damn hard, but it's also true for me that it's largely by caressing, touching, banging, sometimes fiercely smashing, against "the other," that I can start to know, not just know in my head, but really know, that there is no other -- not because I've egostically imposed my inner landscape on the world without, but because I've come to really, truly listen, know and identify what is within and what is without, to know they're one and the same.

One of the hardest parts of that process, I've found, is not closing down after the hard smash-ups. It's easy to do, retreat back inside, nursing the wounds, back to a safe place. But those moments of discord and chaos and pain are some of the very best times to listen, when I've learned the most. Learning to enjoy the quiet and calm is good, but ya sure learn a lot more about weather and how to steer your boat (or when to just let go of the steering) during the real tempests ;>

Chop wood, carry water. Engage with the world, and do the work. Just showing up is 90% of the battle. Easy, right? Yeah, right...

Comments

[willowtree.livejournal.com]

One of the hardest parts of that process, I've found, is not closing down after the hard smash-ups.

*twinkles* This part is so relevant to me right now as my partner and I are focusing in on the work of not closing down and retreating. For me it happens during the smash-ups, I shut down and retreat inward. Engaging during those times is so, so hard for me, but just taking that step to reach out my hand and connect and not shut myself down opens the door just a crack and I can listen to him and myself.

I was just telling my mother on the phone that he and I are finally starting to listen to each other and ourselves.

[snidegrrl.livejournal.com]

I need to work on it. Yup. Thanks for reminding me. :)

[anthologie.livejournal.com]

I love the way you explain these things, because you make it so clear how difficult it is, and how important it is to fuckin' do it anyway.

[http://users.livejournal.com/faerose_/]

"Just showing up is 90% of the battle"
Your post made me feel much better this morning :,)

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

I'm glad!

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

That's a great way of putting it...the first and most important step I've found in listening is *wanting* to listen, wanting it enough to get through, when my own inclination may be to retreat. And knowing that opening to another is another (and essential) way to actually open to oneself.

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

heh. Thanks! I think just fuckin' doing it anyway is probably actually the easy way out, because it's not like these lessons and stuff go away...in fact, they seem to come back harder and faster every time they're ignored...

[chelidon.livejournal.com]

You're welcome, and you and me both! That work just don't stop, do it? ;>

[anthologie.livejournal.com]

Well, one of my lessons is learning not to waffle. Or talk myself out of what needs doing anyway. *Yes* it's hard, but whimpering won't help. That's where my "do it anyway" comes from. :)